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China
Charlie
 A weekly column about living
in Dongguan, for those new to Dongguan, new to China, or anyone
that likes a good story. Written by an expat who
first came to Dongguan in 1987, hopefully this series of
articles will be both entertaining and informative.
Archives:
Welcome to China
Charlie
Dongguan
Driving Challenges
Fun With Air Travel in
China
Vertical Speed Bumps
Language and Culture
Mobile Phones and Other Stuff
Karen Carpenter, Kenny G and the Chinese Water Torture… . .
Dan Gerous, where are you when we
need you?
Life in hotels in the “old days”, a “Moon Shot”,
and the saga of the pink panties….
Was There Life
After M*A*S*H
Camaraderie of Dong Guan in the “old days”.. . .
Who's on First, China Style
Life at the
Ramada/Guangzhou, Resting trucks, Dynamite, and other stuff
Is
Dongguan becoming too civilized?
Roadside Word
Games, China Style |
“Who’s on first ?” China style (Abbott and Costello
would have loved this)…. . . .
In
the 1950s and early 60s there was a comedy team that
had made it from Vaudeville and radio into movies,
named Bud Abbott and Lou Costello (AKA “Abbott and
Costello”). These guys did a routine called “Who’s
on First ?” that involved a Baseball Game involving
players with names like “Who”, I don’t know”, etc.,
that’s a timeless comedy classic.
In
the late 1980s, a couple of guys on a morning radio
show in the Carolinas did a similar routine on their
show that was based on “Who’s on First ?”, involving
nightclubs and bands with names like “Guess’, “the
Who”, etc. that was about as funny, but didn’t get
the play that the Abbott and Costello routine got.
Anyway in the early 1990’s, yours truly had a
similar situation here in China, that was totally
un-rehearsed, involving a hotel switchboard
operator.
The
names have been changed to protect the innocent
(although outside of the operator, I’m not sure that
any of the folks mentioned in any “China Charlie”
are innocent of anything), but the story is “the
honest to god truth”.
At
the time, a friend of mine was living in a
Hotel/Apartment building where all the incoming
calls went through the hotel switchboard. I called
the hotel, and asked to speak with my friend (that
we’ll call Ray Stench
The
operator said “wait a minute please” and came back
on the line to tell me that they didn’t have a Mr.
Stench registered in the hotel. I explained that he
was in the apartment block, and gave her that
apartment number.
“Wait a minute please”, and she came back on the
line to tell me that they didn’t have a room with
that number. Again, I explained that the number
wasn’t a room, but one of the apartments.
“Wait a minute please”, and she came back on the
line to ask who was calling and I gave her my name
(we’ll call me Sam Maerd in this).
“Wait a minute please”, and she came back on the
line to tell me that they didn’t have a Mr. Maerd
registered in the hotel. I told her that I knew that
Mr. Mared wasn’t in the hotel, that I was looking
Mr. Stench, and gave her the apartment number again.
“Wait a minute please”, and she came back on the
line to check who was calling, again. Being a little
frustrated, I gave her my name again spelling it out
for her this time.
“Wait a minute please”, and she came back on the
line to explain again that there was no Mr. Maerd
registered in the hotel, and she didn’t know where
he was.
I
explained that I was Mr. Maerd and I already knew
where I was, but wanted to talk to Mr. Stench in
apartment number (I gave her the apartment number).
“Wait a min”-I broke in and laughingly told her to
“forget it”, I would hang up and start over. The
operator had started to laugh also, so I suspect she
may have been “playing with the “Gwailoh” (“Gwailoh”
is a rather unflattering Cantonese name for
foreigners).
I
did call back and finally got through to my friend’s
apartment, but no one answered.
Next time I sent an e-mail.. . . .
Until next time “Y’all have a rice week now” |
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